1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 - MY NAME IS BEN KING, I SERVED IN SOUTH BAGHDAD 2 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 FROM APRIL 2006 TO APRIL 2007, FOB LOYALTY. 3 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,940 I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT WHEN I GOT HOME. 4 00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:04,740 I REALLY THOUGHT I HAD DONE WELL, 5 00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:06,740 AND THINGS WERE GOING TO BE SMOOTH 6 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,140 FROM THERE ON OUT, 7 00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:10,840 BUT WHAT I REALIZED AFTER ABOUT 6 MONTHS 8 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,570 WAS THAT THEY WEREN'T. 9 00:00:13,570 --> 00:00:16,640 I STARTED TO EXPERIENCE LOTS OF PAIN, 10 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,470 JUST PAIN IN MY NECK, PAIN IN MY BACK, 11 00:00:18,470 --> 00:00:21,970 PAIN IN MY SHOULDERS, AND THEN I STOPPED SLEEPING. 12 00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:25,570 AND IT WENT ON LIKE THAT FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS, 13 00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:30,440 AND I STARTED FINALLY THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR 14 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,600 TO KIND OF ARMOR DOWN MY BODY, SO TO SPEAK, AND MY MIND, 15 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,300 AND THE WAY I DID IT LED ME HERE. 16 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:41,300 WELL, WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING HERE COULD BEST BE DESCRIBED 17 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:45,140 AS FUNCTIONALLY FOCUSING OUR MIND. 18 00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:50,600 SO, USING MINDFULNESS TECHNIQUES TO ENGAGE OUR MINDS 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,500 IN WAYS THAT ARE KIND OF PASSIVE 20 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:58,500 AND WAYS THAT MAKE KIND OF THE NOISE IN OUR HEADS 21 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,370 SLOW DOWN A LITTLE BIT. 22 00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:04,500 AND I'VE FOUND IT JUST TO BE INCREDIBLY USEFUL. 23 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:08,870 I NEVER REALLY KNEW THAT I HAD A KIND OF AN EVEN, 24 00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,600 LIKE A MIDDLE PATH. 25 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,040 I NEVER REALLY KNEW THAT I HAD THAT, 26 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:17,240 SO WHAT THIS CLASS KIND OF DOES IS IT SHOWS YOU 27 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,300 KIND OF WHERE YOU WERE-- FOR ME, I WAS, YOU KNOW, 28 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,400 KIND OF FIRED UP, READY TO GO, 29 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,240 AND IT KIND OF SHOWS YOU THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT. 30 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,440 SO, KIND OF, LIKE, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN, 31 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,670 SO TO SPEAK. 32 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:32,970 AND ONCE I BEGAN TO SEE THAT THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE 33 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:37,240 BETWEEN BEING REALLY REVVED UP AND ACTUALLY CALMING DOWN, 34 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,370 I STARTED TO NOTICE 35 00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:40,240 THAT THERE WAS KIND OF A CONSTANT, 36 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,440 LIKE A CONSTANT LEVEL, 37 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,470 AND IF I COULD KIND OF KEEP THAT CONSTANT LEVEL, 38 00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:45,840 MY DAYS WENT MUCH SMOOTHER, 39 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,470 AND I WAS ABLE TO SLEEP BETTER, 40 00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,540 AND THEN BY KIND OF HAVING THAT UNDERSTANDING, 41 00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,800 I COULD THEN UNDERSTAND WHEN I WAS FALLING OFF 42 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,100 OR KIND OF GETTING CLOSE TO THAT EDGE, 43 00:01:56,100 --> 00:02:01,970 WHERE MAYBE ANGER OR FRUSTRATION OR SADNESS OR DESPAIR 44 00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:04,900 KIND OF TOOK OVER IN MY HEAD AND MY BODY. 45 00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:08,570 AND I STARTED TO KIND OF TELL THE DIFFERENCE, 46 00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:11,570 AND I STARTED TO SEE THAT I HAD THE RESOURCES 47 00:02:11,570 --> 00:02:17,240 AVAILABLE TO ME AT ALL TIMES TO ARMOR DOWN AND RELAX. 48 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:23,000 THE BEAUTY OF THIS TYPE OF FOCUS IS THAT IT'S AVAILABLE TO YOU 49 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,670 AT ALL TIMES, AND IT'S AVAILABLE TO YOU ANY TIME. 50 00:02:25,670 --> 00:02:30,070 AND IT JUST TAKES TRAINING, 51 00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:32,570 AND FOR ME IT'S JUST BEEN A REAPPLICATION 52 00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:36,740 OF MY MILITARY TRAINING TO FOCUS ON MY BREATHING. 53 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,870 ALL MINDFULNESS TAKES PLACE THROUGH THE BREATH, 54 00:02:39,870 --> 00:02:42,170 AND ONCE YOU RECOGNIZE THE POWER THAT YOU HAVE 55 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:44,340 IMPLICIT TO YOURSELF AT ALL TIMES, 56 00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:47,400 NO MATTER WHAT, YOU THEN APPLY THAT TRAINING. 57 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,940 SO IT'S THE SAME KIND OF THING AS WHEN THE MILITARY 58 00:02:49,940 --> 00:02:51,840 TEACHES YOU THE VALUE OF DISCIPLINE 59 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,440 OR THE VALUE OF INTEGRITY, 60 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,640 AND THEN IT SHOWS YOU ITS UTILITY. 61 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,040 SO, THAT'S THE THING, IT'S SEEING THE UTILITY. 62 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,040 NOW, IN THE MILITARY, 63 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,970 THEY TEACH YOU THE UTILITY OF BREATHING 64 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:04,040 FOR SHOOTING A WEAPON. 65 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,900 AND THAT'S GREAT TRAINING. 66 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,240 YOU IMMEDIATELY SEE THE CONNECTION, 67 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,640 YOU SEE ITS USEFULNESS, AND YOU APPLY IT IMMEDIATELY. 68 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,540 THE DIFFERENCE WITH THIS TYPE OF BREATHING TECHNIQUE 69 00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:17,240 IS THAT IT'S NOT GEARED TOWARDS PRECISION 70 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,770 AT A TARGET 300 YARDS DOWN RANGE, 71 00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:22,570 IT'S GEARED TOWARDS THE TARGET INSIDE YOU, 72 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,940 AND THE TARGET INSIDE YOU IS-- COULD BE, YOU COULD SAY, 73 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:27,400 YOUR CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM. 74 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,570 SO THAT'S THE TARGET, 75 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:30,040 AND YOU'RE TRYING TO TARGET THAT. 76 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,600 SEE, FOR ME, I SPENT A WHOLE LOT OF TIME 77 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,100 IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT. 78 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,700 AND WHEN YOU'RE REVVED UP ALL THE TIME, 79 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,900 IT'S NOT VERY EASY TO FALL ASLEEP. 80 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:41,040 SO, WHAT THIS TECHNIQUE HAS JUST FURTHERED 81 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,470 MY UNDERSTANDING OF, 82 00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:43,970 IS HOW TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT. 83 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,000 SO IT'S JUST THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN. 84 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,740 I MEAN, THAT'S THE THING, 85 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,600 THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE TO USE THE WORD "MEDITATION," 86 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,970 BECAUSE IT'S NOT SOME WEIRD PHENOMENA, 87 00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:58,040 IT'S JUST A NEW WAY OF USING YOUR OLD TRAINING. 88 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,200 I TRY TO PRACTICE EVERY MORNING, 89 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,470 IN WHAT I CALL GOING THROUGH MY RANGES. 90 00:04:02,470 --> 00:04:03,970 ALL RIGHT, THE MILITARY GOT US UP 91 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:06,200 AT, YOU KNOW, GOD-AWFUL EARLY HOURS IN THE MORNING 92 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,700 TO DO TRAINING TO START THE DAY, 93 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,540 SO IT MADE SENSE TO ME TO DO THE SAME THING AS A CIVILIAN. 94 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:13,040 SO I GET UP EARLY, I GET UP BEFORE MY WIFE, 95 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,740 AND I GET UP BEFORE THE DAY STARTS, 96 00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:18,570 AND I DO MOVING MEDITATION. 97 00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:21,700 AND I USED TO FOLLOW A PARTICULAR ROUTINE, 98 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:22,840 A REGIMENT. 99 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,140 BUT NOW WHAT I'VE FOUND IS, 100 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,000 IF YOU CONNECT YOUR MIND TO YOUR BREATH, 101 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,370 AND YOUR BREATH TO YOUR MOTION, 102 00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:31,300 WHETHER IT BE WITH YOUR HANDS OR WHETHER IT BE WITH YOUR CORE, 103 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,440 OR WHETHER IT EVEN BE JUST WITH YOUR HEAD 104 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,600 MOVING SIDE TO SIDE, IT'S INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE, 105 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,300 AND SO, IT LEVELS ME OUT FOR THE DAY. 106 00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,740 SO THAT'S HOW I TRY TO BEGIN EVERY DAY, 107 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:43,040 AND IT'S A CONSTANT THAT I ALWAYS HAVE ACCESS TO. 108 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,470 THE SECOND WAY I USE IT 109 00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:48,370 IS TO CREATE SPACE IN BETWEEN WHAT I CALL THE EDGE. 110 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:52,500 AND THE EDGE IS THE PLACE THAT YOU FALL OFF 111 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,800 WHEN YOU FALL INTO RAGE, OR YOU FALL INTO DESPAIR. 112 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,270 AND FOR ME, I WOULD FALL OFF THE EDGE EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS 113 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:01,440 FOR THAT TWO YEARS WHEN I WAS NOT SLEEPING, 114 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,500 BECAUSE I WAS JUST DEPLETED, I DIDN'T HAVE THE ENERGY. 115 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,500 IT WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO FEND OFF AN ATTACK 116 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:10,000 WITH VERY FEW ROUNDS OF AMMUNITION. 117 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,740 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF RESOURCES, 118 00:05:11,740 --> 00:05:13,040 YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, 119 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,300 YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF THE POWER TO GET OVER IT. 120 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,900 AND SO, I WOULD FALL OFF THIS EDGE, 121 00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,140 AND I WOULD SEE MYSELF GETTING CLOSER TO IT, 122 00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:23,100 AND IT'D BE THIS, LIKE, BLACK HOLE, 123 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,570 AND I'D BE POWERLESS TO STOP MYSELF, 124 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:26,570 AND I DIDN'T NOTICE, 125 00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:28,570 BUT MY BREATH WOULD GET ALL MESSED UP, 126 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,200 MY BODY WOULD GET TENSE, 127 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,070 THE PAIN IN MY NECK WOULD COME BACK, 128 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,800 AND I'D GET CLOSE TO THIS EDGE, 129 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,440 AND I'D JUST FALL IN. 130 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,000 AND IT WOULD JUST BE FOR ME, IT WASN'T A VIOLENT THING, 131 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,870 IT WAS A DESPAIRING KIND OF THING. 132 00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:45,070 I WOULD BE IN THE CORNER, ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, 133 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:46,800 CRYING AND HYPERVENTILATING. 134 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,100 AND THEN I'D BE FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND 135 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,340 WHY THAT WOULD HAPPEN. 136 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,400 AND THEN IT WOULD JUST SPIRAL AND SPIRAL AND SPIRAL, 137 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,370 AND I'D JUST BE A MESS, AND THEN I'D JUST... 138 00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:57,900 [BREATHES HEAVILY] 139 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:01,740 AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT USED TO DO TO MY BODY ON THE INSIDE. 140 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:04,540 SO WHEN I FINALLY FIGURED THIS OUT 141 00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:08,370 AND STARTED TO SEE ITS APPLICATION, 142 00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:12,340 I STARTED TO RECOGNIZE, I CAN USE THIS TO MAKE SPACE. 143 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,540 SO NOW WHEN I GET CLOSE TO THE EDGE 144 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,770 OR WHEN SOMETHING STARTS TO GET ME FIRED UP, 145 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,340 I RECOGNIZE IT, AND I RECOGNIZE IMMEDIATELY 146 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:22,670 THAT MY BREATH GOES FROM HERE TO HERE. 147 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:24,500 AND SO IF MY BREATH CLAMPS DOWN, 148 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:28,340 I CAN SEE IT, AND I GO, "OKAY, BEN." 149 00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:31,900 [INHALES AND EXHALES] 150 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,070 AND YOU CREATE SPACE IN YOUR BODY 151 00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:37,300 ON THE INHALE ANYWAY, SO NOW I JUST LEARNED HOW TO APPLY IT. 152 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:41,440 AND SO, NOW, WHEN I SEE MYSELF MOVING IN THAT DIRECTION, 153 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,500 I CAN RECOGNIZE IT, AND I CAN CATCH MY THOUGHTS 154 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,000 WITH MY BREATH BEFORE I GET CLOSE TO THAT EDGE, 155 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,500 AND I DON'T FALL IN ANYMORE. 156 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,640 AND IT'S SO REWARDING AND SO VALUABLE.